Sunday, November 20, 2011

You vs Me: Why Do We Compare Ourselves With Others?

Long time no hear from: I know that is what everyone has been thinking. Well, I have been a little busy with life and I know everyone can atest to that. But lately I have been finding myself comparing myself to my friends, and to other people that have what I think I want. So, some might ask how did this feeling coming about? The feeling came about after I began to see the plans I had for my life just go out of the window and I began to see other people living their dreams. I began to feel like a failure, like I have let my mother and my family down. Well, some might ask what were your plans for your life?  Well, I think I should start at the beginning of how my plans for my life came about.

At the age of 13 or 14 I began to look around me and I began to tell myself that I did not want to be like my mother, and that I wanted to show the people in Mississippi that you could do more than just work in a factory or at Wal-Mart. So, my plan was always to become finically stable, to ensure that my child or children have better than I did. I did not know how I was going to do that, but I always knew that my mind would take me far. So, I ended up graduating from undergrad with a BS in Biology an I went on to Life University to study Chiropractic. I meet so many different people and I was not sure what I wanted to do; do I want to work for someone or do I want my own clinic. When I began to hear that you will never make the kind of money that you are worth working for someone, that was something that was told to me by my mother but I believe that was a message send by God. I graduated from chiropractic school with my DC degree and hope. The next challenge that I faced were my boards. while all my classmates passed their board exams successfully and become licensed chiropractic I was just stuck. In the meantime, I have gotten a married and now I am 12 weeks pregnant with my first child, but still no licenses and I feel like my plans are slipping away.My plan was to always have my business first and then focus on my family, but it seems to be going into the opposite direction. And now I have begun looking at other people and I have started comparing my life to their lives. I know that I am very blessed and that the Lord is continuing to increase me, but I just wonder if I will ever accomplish the dreams that I dreamed when I was a young girl. I continue to remind myself that my journey is my journey and that the Lord has a plan for me, but I just sometime wonder when will I pass all of my board exams, open my clinic, fulfill my dreams.

If you feel the same way or if you have some advise for me chime in, as I wold love to hear what you all have to say.